This pretty much explains why I moved out of “snow country” in the north. Only I moved to Arizona, not Florida. The author is unknown, but it is a brilliant piece of work.
Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in RI. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so serene and picturesque. I can hardly wait to see snow covering them. God's Country: I love it here.
Oct. 14 - RI is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turning all different colors; I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through some beautiful mountains and spotted some deer. They are so graceful; certainly they are the most peaceful animals on Earth. This must be a paradise. I love it here.
Nov. 11 - Dear Season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon...I love it here.
Dec. 2 - Snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard, we went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, (I Won), and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place, Mother Nature in perfect harmony; I love Rhode Island.
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again (that rascal). A winter wonderland.... I love it here in Rhode Island.
Dec. 19 - More snow last night.... I'm exhausted from shoveling snow. Fucking Snowplow!
Dec. 22 - More of the white shit fell last night.... Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow man hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling this driveway. Asshole!
Dec. 25 - "White Christmas"--My busted ass! More friggin' snow. If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives that fuckin' snowplow, I swear I'll castrate the fucking bastard! I don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt this fucking ice!
Dec. 28 - Whiter shit last night. Been inside since Christmas day except for shoveling out the driveway after "Snow-Plow Harry" comes along every time. Can't go anywhere, car buried in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman expects another 10'' of the shit tonight. Do you have any idea how many shovel-fulls of snow 10" is?
Jan. 1 - Happy fucking New Year! The weatherman was wrong (again). We got 34" of the white shit this time. At this rate, the snow won't melt till the fucking 4th of July. The snowplow got stuck up the road, and the fuckin' motherfucker had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow a shovel. After I told him I've broken six shovels already, shoveling all the shit he dumped into my driveway, I broke my last one over his fuckin' head.
Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food. On the way back a goddamn deer ran right in front of the car and I hit the bastard. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 4 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rotting out from all the fucking salt they keep dumping all over the roads. Car looks like a piece of shit!
May 10 - MOVED TO FLORIDA: I can't imagine why anyone in their right friggin' mind would want to live in a god forsaken place called Rhode Island.