Friday, August 20, 2010

If I Were Dictator

If I were dictator, this is what I’d do. Yes, you read that correctly, dictator, not president. Presidents can’t do shit without getting jerked off by congress. I figure I’d get things done that most Americans could agree with. And if you don’t, well, that’s fine too. I wouldn’t have you killed or anything. I’d only want the job for a short time. After which, the people could elect a new puppet, err, I mean president and things could go back to normal.

Let’s see, the first thing I’d do is make gay marriage legal in all fifty states, because, quite frankly, I am tired of this fucking bullshit. No one has a right to vote on the rights of anyone, especially a minority. If two faggots or two dykes want to get married and set up house, what’s it to you? Let them do it. They have just as right to do it as anyone else.

I’d end the war on drugs. It’s a pointless war. It’s a waste of a hell of a lot of money. Think of all the money we’d save without this monstrosity. In my view, if people want to smoke pot, get high and have a good time, then they should fucking be able to do so, it’s their right as an American citizen living in a FREE society. Okay? And the same goes for all other drugs, people need to take responsibility for their own actions. We don’t need government wiping our ass, watching over us like we’re infants. The people are supposed to be the boss, not government.

Birth-right citizen ship would go bye-bye. And I think that the forefathers would agree. If at least one of your parents isn’t a citizen when you’re born, then you’re not either. This would get rid of the illegals and they’d have no more excuses for sticking around in this country.

The federal budget would be balanced every year and it would be a law. No matter what, the budget would have to be balanced, no excuses. Spend wisely!

Troops from overseas would come home. There’s no need for us to be stationed all over the fucking world. We are NOT the world police.

The pointless wars in the Middle East would end, or at least our part in them. It’s a futile war. The religious whack-jobs are going to win in the end anyway. It would be my guess that they will be the reason the world ends. Think of all the money we would save if we brought our troops home?

ALL politicians would take a fifty percent pay cut. Yes, you read that right. They make too much money as it is, while the average Americans are suffering. It’s not right. They would have term limits as well. Two terms maximum, just like the president. No more career politicians. This would help end some corruption. People would want to serve this country for the good of all, and not just for the good of themselves. And that’s the way it should be. They’d also have to pay as much taxes as everybody else, and they would not have the ability to vote on anything for their own benefit, be it raises or vacations or any other thing. If they want a raise, then they need to ask their employers, the American people for it. Then again, they wouldn’t be in office that long, so if they think they’re worth a raise then they can get the fuck out of office and let someone else take their place.

Governors would no longer appoint senators to replace one who has left office. After the Blagojevich bullshit, this is the last thing we need. A special election would be held, the way it should be, and the American citizens select their next representative.

I’m sure there are more things I want to do, but I’ve forgotten them. I may update this post with new ideas as they come scrambling back to memory, if they do.

If I were dictator, what would YOU want me to do? Something that would benefit the country and does not include me killing myself. So here’s your chance to get this country back on track, what would YOU want me to do? I’d listen and take your ideas into consideration. If I like them, I’d make them happen. If I don’t, well, you don’t have to worry, I won’t kill you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the Bobby Darin song "If I were a Carpenter" - agree with most things you say. Looks like you'd be quite a resonable dictator....! :)